The Unoriginal Comic
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Punted on February 15, 2007, 08:25:57 PM
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I know this isn't news to many people, but I still like reading them. So, uhm, no timeline.jpg or anything like that. XD
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Good stuff, good stuff.
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Lol, blanket-statements about an entire gender :P
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I dunno, I find this vaguely offensive, myself.
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I dunno, I find this vaguely offensive, myself.
If so I worry about you.
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Why?
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If so I worry about you.
Why is that? Is it the part where I have a distaste for stereotyping period, let alone negative stereotyping that targets me? Or is it the part where I find most of them thoroughly ridiculous?
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If so I worry about you.
Why is that? Is it the part where I have a distaste for stereotyping period, let alone negative stereotyping that targets me? Or is it the part where I find most of them thoroughly ridiculous?
I was in the middle of writing a reply to this, and I stopped myself. Honestly, I know my views on this are going to be in the minority. And I don't feel like defending those views, or having a argument about it in general. So I can't explain why. I think that even if you all understood, you would still end up thinking bad of me.
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Kay. *climbs on Tunod's shoulders and brandishes shiny katana at HMC*
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Wow, I decide to shut up and I still get threats. Go me. -_-
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No, no, see how shiny it is? *drops it and scampers off after another shiny object*
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I'm cunfuzzled.
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*resists urge to make REALLY dirty joke about "cunfuzzled"*