Forum > Gaming

I'd kill to have this. Well. Not really.

(1/4) > >>

Ayasu:
But it would be nice.

Source -- SN.com forums, and Alla


--- Quote ---I must confess that I do not have much of an "inventor's streak" running through me. However, over the course of the past few days, I have come up with an idea for a new gadget that, if given life, would surely rank up with the automobile as one of Mankind's greatest creations.

The invention? I call it the "Party-o-meter."

What does it do? It measures the performance of your party, the total EXP gained, the quality of the members, the amount of fun that you have, and all that sort of thing. Now, I can already hear your objections. "What good would that be? Once you leave a party, shouldn't you already know how good of a party it was?"

Ah, but that's the beauty of it! The Party-o-meter would give this information to you before you even join. Anybody who has spent any significant amount of time playing FFXI knows that the quality of pickup parties varies as widely as the amount of HQ synths as a function of weekday and moon phase.

So let's say you're out in Batallia Downs, skilling up a weapon with your party flag up. Out of nowhere, that magical auto-translated phrase suddenly appears at the bottom of your television screen or monitor:

{Team up?}

So you plug the Party-o-meter into your PC or Playstation 2, press the large red EVALUATE button, and the following information is crisply displayed on a clear and highly-readable LCD screen:

The party you're about to join is filled with seasoned veterans. You will gain 20,000 XP in this party. You will end up with several new entries in your Friends list. I highly recommend that you join this party.

At this point, you can reply:

{Party} {Yes, please.}

Now, on the other hand, the Party-o-meter might display this:

The party you're about to join is a walking disaster. It would make the maiden voyage of the Titanic look like the moon landing. Your MNK will lose sneak halfway through Kuftal without letting you know that it is wearing. He will die, HP, tell the party to go fark itself, and then disband, leaving you one man down over 500 miles from civilization. You will wait one hour for a replacement.

The replacement arrives. He has excellent equipment. He is Rank 10 in all 3 citites. He will /wave, /bow, and immediately disconnect and never be heard from again. You will wait another 30 minutes for another Rank 2 replacement with an underleveled sub and macroes that contain the phrase "OMG ROFL LOLOL." Your tank, a Level 54 Paladin, will be equipped with a Level 14 Fish Scale Shield. He will die during the first fight.

After 3 fights, your WHM will go AFK for 30 minutes to "eat dinner." During this time, Guivre will show up and eat him. After the WHM is raised, there will be three more fights, at which point the BLM will go AFK mid-battle because he "has to go poop." He misses the MB and kills the chain, but the poop (apparently) comes out okay.

You start fighting again, and within two more fights, a noob on his way to Cape Terrigan brings a train the likes of which has never been seen before. The train includes at least 16 Robber Crabs, 3 Diplopods, and 4 Haunts. Given the size of the train, I can't be entirely sure, but I'm almost positive I saw Bubbly Bernie, Tom Tit Tat, Serket, and Ganon in there. It's not clear how one can even make a train like this, particularly since Ganon is from "The Legend of Zelda." Nevertheless, the entire party is wiped.

I do not recommend that you join this party.

At this point, you can reply:

{I'm playing solo right now.} {Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass.}

Okay, show of hands: Would you buy this invention? And how much would you pay for it?

--- End quote ---

Zamza:
Hmm, seems like I just read this elsewhere, oh well, it's still freakin' hilarious. ;D

Salia:
Ah. Trains. Fond memories of screaming 'THEY'RE AFTEEER MEEEEEE!!' in guild wars.  ...while being followed by about 30+ enemies. ^^;

Ayasu:
Guild Wars isn't that fun, though

Ashriel:
I would pay $12.34 and my left butt cheek for that one. XD

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page